The Sniffer: How Self-Sabotage Signals You’re Close to Breaking Free

I was talking with my mom the other day about self-sabotage, that sneaky feeling that creeps in just when you’re about to chase your dreams without holding back.

We realized something interesting: The closer you get to breaking through your “upper limits” — those invisible boundaries we set on how far we think we’re allowed to go — the louder and more persistent self-sabotage becomes.

I coined that feeling, The Sniffer.

It’s like a radar inside you, sniffing out how close you are to stepping out of the grind — past the rules, the doubt, the identities you didn’t even know you’d memorized. It shows up right as you're about to do something big, like quitting the job you dread, trusting your gut, or believing you’re worthy of more.

I've come to realize, that feeling isn’t a red flag. It’s a green light. It’s often the last crack before something breaks open. A signal that you’re not just dreaming anymore.

You’re actually moving.

But what if self-sabotage isn’t something to beat, but something to listen to?

What if that part of you is trying to protect you, not from success, but from what it thinks will hurt you: failure, rejection, abandonment, or change that feels unsafe?

What if you could talk to your Sniffer, and self-sabotage itself, like an ally instead of an enemy? What if these parts weren’t holding you back, but standing guard, waiting for your attention?

When I feel myself slipping into fear, distraction, or doubt, I’ve started getting curious instead of critical.

I ask myself:

"What is this trying to teach me?"

"What is it trying to protect me from?"

"What am I trying to prevent by self-sabotaging?"

Sometimes the answer feels like hesitation — a quiet voice saying, “Maybe some else could do this, but not you.”

Other times, it’s a heavy, shameful fear — “If I fail, will I be branded a failure forever?”

That’s when I pause. I breathe. And I talk to that part of myself — the critical one, the saboteur — in a compassionate voice. Not like it’s broken. Not like I need to force it to go away. But like it’s a younger version of me that once thought the only way to survive was to stay small.

Self-sabotage and The Sniffer can become your greatest allies if you learn how to talk to them. Not with shame. Not with force. But with curiosity. With compassion. With the kind of attention that says, “I see you. And I’m not running away.”

Self-sabotage isn’t weakness. It’s a doorway.

A chance to meet the oldest parts of yourself. The parts that learned to protect and then retreat when life felt overwhelming. And when you meet them with curiosity and kindness, something shifts. The grip loosens. The fear softens.

You start to think: “I’m doing what I love and I’ll figure the rest out.”

That’s when sabotage fades into movement. Into trust. Into momentum.

And that? That’s when freedom really begins.

If you’ve felt sabotage creeping in lately — pause. And ask it what it’s trying to say. That little conversation might be the beginning of your next big chapter.

If you want help, I’m building a short reflection guide you can download soon. It's something simple to walk through when your Sniffer starts getting loud. It’ll live in the Resources section under “When You’re Feeling Curious.”

Until then... Stay curious. You’re probably closer than you think to choosing yourself.